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Joke of the Day

"If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator then... Hey come to think of it that's not a bad idea."

"How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out? Hide their trainers."

"I found out I was dyslexic when I got invited to a toga party. I turned up as a goat."

"PC is getting way out of hand. You can't even say black paint anymore. Instead it's gotta be ""Jamal, please paint."""

"*drives Toyota Corolla into Mordor* ""See, nobody suspected a thing"""

"Saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah I thought, He's trying to pull a fast one"

"I don't know what disturbs me more about my attraction towards my girlfriends mother. The fact that she's 51 or the fact that she's also my mother."

"My brother thought his vasectomy ... would keep his wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changed the color of the baby."

"""You spent hours slaving away in the kitchen yesterday. Relax. Let me sort out dinner today."" *Orders pizza"

"A whale walks into a bar and sits down. Then your mom orders a drink."