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Joke of the Day

"[Request] Apocalypse jokes I want as many apocalypse jokes as you can give me. Good, bad, ugly, I'll take any and all of them. Thank you :)"

"What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors."

"Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries."

"Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed? Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me."

"""I can try"" is a great response to invitations because you're not even committing to trying."

"Why is religion like mobile gaming? Free-to-pray, pray-to-win."

"I visited Karl Marx's grave in London yesterday. It was just another Communist plot."

"When I was at school, the school bully used to make me rub my head against a giant piece of sandpaper. I was no match for him."

"I recently came into a HUGE amount of money. Unfortunately, though, I'm barred from future tours of the Mint."

"A guy goes to get a physical... The doctor says ""Sir, you have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""