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Joke of the Day

"If by ""chivalry is dead"" you mean ""I put my coat in a puddle for my wife so she's making me do laundry for a week"" then yes chivalry is dead"

"why are all jewish men circumcised? because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 10% off."

"An & was driving down the street Until it rear-anded me."

"What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day? Pooping"

"If the Terminator was female the line would have been, ""I might be back, I haven't decided yet."""

"Waiter: ""I'm afraid your credit card has been declined."" Me: ""Try this one."" W: ""This is a blood donor card."" M: ""Take as much as you need."""

"The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off."

"When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like your brother in law Steve"

"A man walks into a bar And says ""ouch"""

"Fun Prank: 1.) Buy 35 coats 2.) Goto the movie theatre 3.) Put a coat on every chair in the row 4.) Relax"