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Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the street in New York yesterday, when a black guy asked me if the Yankees won... I replied, ""Yeah man, you're free."""

"""The doctor can see you now."" - a nurse, after removing the doctor's blindfold."

"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""

"How many times does 43 go into 9? The priest won't tell you, but *he knows*."

"The Indian version of ""How I Met Your Mother""is just a single episode called ""I Met Her At Our Wedding""."

"The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web."

"My one and only joke. Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says ""Ahhh are you ok?"" And the one that fell is like ""Yeah, olive."""

"What do Little Miss Muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have Kurds in their way."

"What do you call a TV award an Italian mobster cheated to win? Rigatoni"

"Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events."