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Joke of the Day

"Two fish in a tank One turns to the other and says ""how do you drive this thing?"" Repost from a comment on /r/askreddit"

"They say drugs will hurt your long term memory but I kind of take pride in needing to Google the proper spelling of ""Bieber"" every damn time"

"Why are friendzone'd guys always sick? They suffer from m'ladies"

"ST BERNARD DOG: [getting ready for work] Honey have you seen my barrel? WIFE: Which one? SBD: The little one I wear AROUND MY NECK EVERY DAY"

"I like my beer like I like me sex slaves..... Imported"

"""Rocky, come here, good boy. Sit down. Sit in the sofa...siiitttt!!!"" said Sean Connery."

"Hey are you from Gryfindor? Great. Can I Slytherin?"

"What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night A widow"

"*Checks out grocery item* Grocery item: ""I have a boyfriend."""

"""To prove how much I love you I'm going to eat this entire pizza."" That's not what I - ""Please stop. Let me do this."""