112228
Joke of the Day
"""Rocky, come here, good boy. Sit down. Sit in the sofa...siiitttt!!!"" said Sean Connery."
Next Joke
"Wtf this movie was not at all like the book! Friend: It was, are you sure you read the book? Sure I did. I read between the lines."
"Me: How are you? Coworker: I can't complain. Me: *sticks finger in his coffee* Coworker: I just paid for that! Me: I knew you were lying."
"I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She cried & then she hugged me."
"""Press the cube root of the 11th digit of pi divided by .5 and doubled if you'd like to speak with a customer service representative."""
"What do you call someone who believes rotten eggs smell bad, but doesn't care? An eggsy-stench-alist."
"Sign at funeral home: ALL SALES FINAL"
"i just finished breaking bad. what happens to hanks minerals. I don't like loose ends man. what happened to the minerals"
"As a lubricated finger was pushed into my anus, I couldn't help but think... That this wasn't any ordinary vet."
"hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to argue with another stranger in your mentions for hours maybe"