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Joke of the Day

"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"

"All the girls I've ever kissed can agree on one thing. It's weird that I have a beak."

"Hilary should change her name to Monica. NSFW She obviously wants the next presidents dick in her mouth the way she steals his rhetoric"

"Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? The only thing left was de-brie"

"Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again."

"What's the best way to organize your cakes, muffins, and hamburger buns? Alphabreadically!"

"A Jewish boy asks his father: ""Father, can I please borrow 50 dollars?"" The father replies: ""40 dollars! What on earth do you need 30 dollars for!?"""

"Half of my Facebook friends are still there solely because their life is a train wreck and it's entertaining."

"Top ten snappy comebacks for nosy people This is great!"

"Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it."