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Joke of the Day

"Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can."

Next Joke
 
"there's nothing quite as American as eating when you're not even hungry"
"Love yourself. But, not in public. That's illegal."
"You're so beautiful Sometimes I have to photoshop you to make you look less attractive! - Zach Anner"
"When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says ""Aww you were so cute! What happened?"" Bitch, I got sexy, that's what happened."
"Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator? Because it's not called a purconow."
"I just found out about Shift Codes in Borderlands... I now have 100 golden keys."
"Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, and the first thing I look for in you."
"My girlfriend gave me a bj in the dark... So she never seen me coming."
"Talk to your kids about drugs. Learn which drugs are cool rn. You don't wanna be a nerd parent"