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Joke of the Day

"i don't think i can go back to a white president"

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"Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog"
"My friend Victor changed his last name to ""E"". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery."
"A brunette tells her blonde friend that she can finally say that she's slept with a Brazilian. The blonde looks shocked and says, ""OMG, how many is a Brazilian???"
"How do you power a fleshlight? With sexual batteries!"
"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."
"[On stage at comedy club] ""Doritos: 11 chips per serving"" *audience erupts in laughter* ""Oreos: 3 cookies per serving"" *audience loses it*"
"A scarecrow just won a Nobel prize. It was for being out-standing in his field."
"Two fish in a tank... ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"
"What kind of phone does a burglar use? A no-key-a"