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Joke of the Day

"A woman is on trial for murdering her husband. ""So ma'am, first offender?"" ""No! First a Gibson, THEN a Fender."""

"The Asian father reads his son's report card, where he finds a ""B"". ""B is for Burger King, where YOU'LL WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"""

"Every Dildo sold in North Korea. Is a Kim Jong IL Do."

"""Speak softly and carry a big stick."" -- Teddy Roosevelt ""Yell loudly and talk about the size of your stick."" -- Donald Trump"

"What's the most popular white wine All Lives Matter"

"I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother."

"My penis died. Can I bury it in your vagina?"

"Yay it's payday! *pays bills That was short lived."

"You say ""potato"", I say ""This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."""

"[doc walks in holding up my X-rays with one hand & giving a thumbs down with the other] Bad news, pal. You're a skeleton."