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Joke of the Day

"Those of you wondering what its like to be married: Just found out this morning I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having..."

"I have just completed knitting a tiny sweater for my one true friend, who is a grape."

"Steven Gerrard obviously believes his best chance of winning the Premier League is to join the MLS and then hope that Man City try to sign him."

"Wouldn't it be messed up if we found out Rome was built in like 23.5 hours?"

"How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone."

"Did you know that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer? Too bad he never cries."

"I bet now that it's been a few years, she's ""The Girl Who Really Regrets Getting That Dragon Tattoo."""

"My middle finger gets a boner whenever I think of you."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint!"

"Chuck Norris does not ""style"" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror."