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Joke of the Day

"I think my life is a Saturday Night Live sketch. It began with promise, but now it's going nowhere and the last half sucks."

"I saw a really lifelike portrait of Donald Trump the other day... ... it was really freaky how the hands followed you around the room."

"Eating pistachios is like picking up girls You always go for the easiest ones to crack first."

"Have you heard the joke about the flying sandwich? Nope. Neither have I."

"What's black white and red all over Michael Jackson in a blender."

"The barman says 'I'm sorry we don't serve time travelers.' A time traveler walks into a bar..."

"How many Communists does is take to screw in a light bulb? All of them."

"What did the programmer say to the architect chick? Wanna come back to my homepage and check out my floor plan?"

"This documentary on tree frogs is absolutely ribbiting."

"A person's tongue immediately becomes a toothbrush after you mention ""teeth"" in a conversation."