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Joke of the Day

"I saw a really lifelike portrait of Donald Trump the other day... ... it was really freaky how the hands followed you around the room."

"I asked my phone what its favorite joke was: What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive on time? ""One day my prints will come."""

"Two girls are playing in a sandbox One girl says: ""My daddy's penis is this big"" and holds her hands 8"" apart. The asian girl replies: ""My daddy's penis is only half that size. It still hurts."""

"I'd like to give a shout out Shout out to all the people wondering what the opposite of in is."

"How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7"

"If i could have any super power, i'd pick the ability to lure kids into my truck without giving them candy i spent my hard earned money on."

"What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls? You run. You run so far away."

"How many Mexican reposters does it take to make me mad? Just Juan"

"How do you find a blonde on reddit? Look for the comments that just say ""huh?"""

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of smart pygmies? The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts."