38796

Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the street one day when I heard someone playing Dancing Queen and Mamma Mia on the didgeridoo. That's Abba-rigonal"

"""Hi, I'm Garfield, a cat who hates Mondays. But I'm here to tell you that there's nothing lasagna' about global warming."""

"A horse is getting brushed by his owner, The horse is like ""You my mane man""."

"A woman runs into a panhandler on the street... Panhandler: ""Would you please spare me some change? I haven't eaten in three days.."" Woman: ""Well, you've gotta force yourself."""

"A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours."

"My Altima's name is Liam Nissan"

"Do you remember those old romantic movies where the guy would lay his coat down in a puddle for the woman? WALK AROUND THE FUCKING PUDDLE."

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a girls cross country team? One is a group of cunning runts."

"What do you call an Isis execution recorder A daesh cam"

"I'm bad at Math. The equation 2n+2n is 4n to me."