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Joke of the Day

"""Man I hate tacos!"" Said no Juan ever."

"Did you hear about the man who fell into a lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself."

"NSFW - If you need to voice search the web for new directions don't say it too fast"

"So UBER is not a dating app? *sigh* I kinda thought all those 'Goodbye' kisses seemed more awkward than usual."

"How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos."

"What's the deal with circles. They're pointless."

"Why can't Helen Keller Drive? She's dead."

"I'm crying and wearing a falcon glove so I get sympathy sex from people who think my falcon flew away."

"Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction? It's called Lake Flaccid."

"As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince. It's my husband's dream now."