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Joke of the Day

"My first joke ever... Seriously Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the cock!"

"Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people ""Happy Birthday,"" ever."

"I'd like to buy a bed please. Certainly madam. Spring mattress? Oh no! I want to be able to use it all year."

"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you do insult them you're already a mile away and you have their shoes."

"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Have the alter boy shit into her pussy."

"I was gonna do a tweet about Albert Einstein's IQ but I couldn't get it under 140."

"What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)"

"Hello! Is this the police ? POLICE: Yes! What's Ur emergency??! MAN: Two girls are fighting over me! POLICE: What's wrong with that??! MAN: The ugly one is winning.... Hurry!!!"

"Why was the feminist picnic so bad Nobody made sandwiches"