213792

Joke of the Day

"What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)"

"What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer after there's no more Job's"

"I wore my ""Gandalf for President"" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration."

"Ah you love me that's great. Now I'll do a bunch of terrible shit because I need to be sure you love me no matter what"

"GOD: no work on the sabbath or I'll kill you ISRAEL [hasn't had a day off in 400 years]: awesome! GOD: what ISRAEL: we mean...oh no so hard"

"Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of them even look like people."

"Two gerbils....(NSFW) ...are walking down the street and come up to a gay bar. One turns to his friend and asks. >Wanna go inside and get shit faced? Lemmiwinks is your clue."

"How does a mathematician solve his constipation problem? He works it out with a pencil! = "

"What do you call a politician with premature ejaculation? A one-pump Trump"

"I haven't heard from DAEMON MAILER in years. I really hope he's okay..."