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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to buy a bed please. Certainly madam. Spring mattress? Oh no! I want to be able to use it all year."

"I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets' We've already been called the best cover band of all time"

"A group of toddlers is called a migraine"

"Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray? Because the label said, ""Contents Under Pressure"" Got this joke from my brother :D"

"Why do chat fail always look fake Because they are"

"Astronauts wear helmets to hide their tears when they discover the moon isn't made of cheese."

"My Girlfriend is doing majors in Physics Yesterday she texted me she needs time and distance. I dont even know why she wants to calculate the velocity"

"The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl."

"I walked in on two mummies making out. I told them to get a tomb."

"[Halloween] Me: How adorable! I love your ghost costume! 14: *sigh* I AM NOT A GHOST! I'M SHEET-FACED."