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Joke of the Day

"What did the deaf bug order at the bar? A Bee-Ear"

"What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War? Juan down, a million more to go."

"Mother: My goodness, Jerry, who gave you that black eye? Jerry: No one gave it to me. I had to fight for it!"

"I swear, if the paper were better quality, I would wipe my ass with all these fucking reports I have to print out all the fucking time"

"It's just not sanitary to let people get under your skin."

"Why are black men afraid of chainsaw's? When you start them, they made the sound ""runnnniganiganiganiga"" Sorry for the racism, but had to share this."

"CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps ""Latest Speculative News"" or ""We Really Don't Know Shit"" would work. CNN call me."

"Euchre is a lot like sex... If you have a good hand, you can go it alone."

"What's an activity 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape"

"You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel? They even run on thyme!"