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Joke of the Day

"Are the UK banning the export of cheese? I keep hearing on the radio about cheddar vans not being allowed overseas"

"Farmers are outstanding in their field because... they can raise things without lifting them"

"Why do cemeteries have fences? People are just dying to get in."

"I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber."

"What if the missing plane is still up there? ""What?"" Did you check the sky? ""No."" See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin."

"You shouldn't buy so much Velcro... It usually a ripoff"

"Some guy walked up to me today and said I'm racist I told him I'm not racist. In fact my best friend was a black child until my dad sold him"

"At my funeral, I'd like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of"

"Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battle."

"*Feels the chill* Chill: I have a boyfriend"