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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing a woman can ask a man is ""Guess what today is."""

"I'm not sure if I'm depressed Or just nihilistic"

"An atom loses an electron... It says, ""man, I really gotta keep an ion them."" Edit: RIP inbox, nearly thought Reddit Au was coming Edit 2: First Reddit au! Thanks kind stranger!"

"If there's one thing I really can't stand when I'm drunk, it's up."

"What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients? Omelette you figure it out"

"Why do they call it a traffic jam? Because no one's jelly"

"My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake"

"Baller is short for ballerina"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Feminists can't change anything"

"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."