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Joke of the Day

"Then: Me: I want McDonald's Mom: Do you have McDonald's money? Now: Mom: I want grandkids Me: Do you have grandkids money??"

"can we have one night where you don't act like spiderman ""ok"" [hour later a bird/panther type thing steals wife's purse] ""don't look at me"""

"Do you know the 6 states of matter? 1. Solid 2. Liquid 3. Gas 4. Plasma. 5. BoseEinstein condensate 6. Black Lives"

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? ""You heard the song I was playing?"" Cop: Yes I did, and now HERE I AM ""ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE"""

"what did they tell the eastern European tree who wanted a room at the hotel california you can czech in any time you want but you can never leaf"

"My doctor wouldn't examine me when I said I was having hearing problems... He just said it was ear relevant"

"I tried to catch some fog... I mist."

"Ever blow bubbles as a kid? He's back in town and wants you to give him a call."

"Playing Guess Who these days is hard ""Is your person white?"" ""Excuse me?"" ""Is your person white?"" ""I don't see skin color I just see people"""

"What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make? ITS RAWR!"