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Joke of the Day

"After I orgasm, I yell ""Aaaaand scene."" Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say ""Ummm. We'll call u."""

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? **A pilot** ... you racist"

"Confucius Say Man who run behind car get exhausted But man who run in front of car get tired."

"What did the engineer say to the flood? Dam!"

"I think ""old media"" should rebrand themselves as ""cougar media"" to attract a younger male audience."

"You should all be proud if me, guys. I got a designated driver for tonight. He's my nephew, and he's six, but he's drank way less than me."

"What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Here's an oldie but a goodie. Your Mom."

"Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire? Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!"

"NO. Absolutely not. I do not want to see your stupid cat video I've seen a billion cat vid-yeah ok let me see"