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Joke of the Day

"Friendly Competition My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."

"American beer is like making love in a canoe it's fucking close to water *Monty Python, Live at the Hollywood Bowl*"

"What's a hipster's biggest problem? You probably haven't heard it."

"How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 5 Step 8, 9, 10"

"What do you call a broken boomerang? A stick"

"I just patented a new device that allows you to pee while watching a movie... It's called the ""Catheater""."

"My wife gets annoyed with my long showers. I told her they could be 10-15 minutes shorter if she joined me."

"Even though his lawyer had told him to check the fine print, he hadn't expected this: it was the SEXIEST print he'd seen in years."

"Twitter. /twt.r/ (noun) Twit-ur: an omnidirectional toxic sludge pump for the lame and unfunny musings of the imbecilic masses."

"There was a girl pushing an suv this morning while the guy steered. Feminists everywhere must be scissoring in victory."