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Joke of the Day

"I was in Australia once and I saw someone play Stairway to Heaven on the didgeridoo. I said ""That's Aboriginal."""

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"Why was the doctor so stressed out? He lost his patients..."
"What is the definition of confusion? Father's day in Harlem"
"Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:..."
"What do American Beer and sex in a canoe have in common? They're both f*cking close to water. [Joke courtesy of Zane Lamprey on an episode of Three Sheets]"
"The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey"
"Stuffs more popcorn in my face* Why don't bad guys in movies just paint the red wire green?"
"Why did the young boat dock before it was ready? Pier Pressure"
"Ordered a side of fries with my meal and the server forgot and they never came. I have been wronged before, but not like this. Not like this"
"""You can't tell me what to do! I do what I want!""- toddlers, teenagers and US congress"