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Joke of the Day

"What do women and tornadoes have in common? They scream when they come and take the house when they leave."

"Different cultures like eating animals that we consider pets... For example, did you know that in Japan, they eat fish?"

"My wife and I lost 150lbs combined! So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!"

"How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb? None. They like it on the dark side."

"What function do the bumps on a nipple serve? Its brail for, ""Suck This."""

"When someone pushes the ""2"" button in an elevator it should automatically announce their weight."

"Today I found my first grey pubic hair... I got really excited, but not as much as the other people on the bus."

"Bought a 2nd cell phone to leave on the coffee table as a decoy when I go tweet in the bathroom."

"My friend lives on a court with a sign, ""No outlet."" I wonder where he plugs in his TV?"

"NBC TV is planning a new series, ""Airline Tragedies"" They are putting together the pilot right now."