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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather told me that our generation depends too much on technology... ...so I unplugged his life support."

"Copied tweets with higher no. of RTs remind me of tht incident when Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest n came 3rd."

"I like my women like I like my Twinkies.. Cream-filled"

"If you broke up with your gf who works at a salad bar you can use the line ""lettuce romaine friends"" at a low cost of my student loans."

"Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV? His son with the xbox."

"On what grounds did the wife divorce her husband when she found out he was having an affair with the leader of Cuba? Infidelity"

"Best Husband A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ""I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."" The woman replies, ""I'll miss you..."""

"You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?"

"I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down."

"Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water? A: Just spell ""Evian"" backwards!"