195195

Joke of the Day

"How many Republicans does it take to screwin a light bub? Zero. They're so fucking dumb that none of them can screw a light bulb to begin with."

"Sometimes I can't remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines...I totally get it."

"What does the word 'gay' mean? asked a son to his father. ""It means 'happy,'"" replied the father. ""Oh,"" contested the son, ""so are you gay, then?"" ""No, son, I have a wife."""

"Men read Playboy for the articles, women go to malls for the music."

"Lust. Love. Marriage. LUST: Tearing her panties off. LOVE: Sliding them down, gently. MARRIAGE: Folding them regularly."

"What does the interrupting cow say? HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text"

"Can you read the following? Yy u r yy u b I c u r yy 4 me. Too wise you are too wise you be I see you are too wise for me."

"The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a ""Tweet"" to Mayweather . . . Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it."

"Why are there no headache tablets in the jungle? Because the Parrots-eat-em-all. Thank you, I'm here all night."

"""911 whats your emerge-"" I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE THESE PANTS OFF WITHOUT TAKING OFF MY SHOES"