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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the kid with no hands got for Christmas? Me neither. He couldn't open his presents."

"What do you call a street full of cheap hookers and a McDonald's? Quarter Pound Town."

"""Look, Just Do Something to His Butt."" - Cosmopolitan magazine finally runs out of cover ideas"

"The only thing more predictable than the conspiracy theories is some people's inability to distinguish Indonesia from Malaysia. #AirAsia"

"T he bes thin gabou tTCPfl owcontr oljokesi sthatthey knowwhento backo ff...."

"I've gotten away with blaming the dog for my farts dozens of times so I hope my wife believes me when I tell her that he just shit my pants."

"How do you get a one armed Italian out of a tree? You talk to him!"

"I can't believe my back is killing me. My spine has some nerve."

"You can accurately measure a person's intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam. If they let you, they're an idiot."

"Why didn't the Cancer Cowboy head out West? He was afraid of Chemo-sabe."