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Joke of the Day

"No one is more unnecessarily confident than a white person that just ordered Mexican food in a Spanish accent."

"What do you call a serial killer who can kill with both hands? Ambi*Dexter*ous"

"What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay. *walks away slowly*"

"Having sex with children is fucking tight."

"Never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. She's thick and tired of it."

"In mother Russia... How much woodchuck would a wood chuck if a wood could chuck woodchuck?"

"Fords coming out with heated tailgates. So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it home."

"People are weird. Everyone knows door handles spread disease, but whenever I ask a business owner if I can clean his knob I get thrown out."

"Q: Why don't blonde's like audio-books? A: There aren't any pictures."

"A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?"