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Joke of the Day

"I only smoke for the health tips from complete motherfucking strangers"

"why does a fly hang upside down ? to take the weight of its feet."

"Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium? He tripped a fan"

"I hope that your text abbreviations become so short that you can soon send me nothing."

"How do you quadruple the capacity of a gay bar? Turn all the stools upside down. (Not trying to offend anyone, just a raunchy joke I heard from my GFs dad)"

"""I better pee first."" - me, before doing anything"

"My Christmas shopping will be financed by my swear jar again this year."

"What's the difference.... Between eating pussy and driving in the fog? When you're driving in the fog you can't see the asshole in front of you"

"What was the favorite chicken dish of Hitler? The SwasTikka"

"Two clocks are sitting around, when a man walks up the man takes away the clocks little hands and walks away. The clocks then yell at him, saying ""You can't do that, it's hours!"""