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Joke of the Day

"I was laying on my SO's chest and commented on how comfortable it was... And she hits me with a ""It's like it's MAMMorey foam!"" line. I was quite impressed."

"A man drops a nail, which rolls under his bed, so he goes down under. This begs the question of why he decided to go to Australia to get a new nail instead of searching under his bed."

"The Constitution says nothing about it being illegal for cats to carry firearms and this worries me immensely."

"Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years."

"(sheepishly putting my arm around pitbull) so is there a mrs worldwide"

"It's racist how they always put Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd in a bad neighborhood."

"I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston."

"Scientists have grown human vocal chords in a Petri dish. The results speak for themselves."

"What was the sale in Jewish circumsicions? Buy one get one half off"

"I get turned on by my Maths teacher... ... because she is the reciprocal of cosC"