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Joke of the Day

"My hand is stuck in a jar of salsa right now. I'm just gonna leave it in there. This is who I am now. I'm tired of fighting."

"Son: I'm gay, dad. Dad: no I'm gay dad Dad #2: no I'm gay dad"

"A man in Phoenix accidentally shot himself in the leg while in line at Walmart on Saturday. Or, as they call that in Arizona, ""taking a selfie."""

"How many ______ does it take to _____ a ______ ? And go."

"Just one look at any Smurf's balls and you can tell he's horny as hell."

"""john could tell that emily was getting tired of him narrating their date"""

"I am starting a support group for guys dealing with Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Our motto is: ""Hang in there, we can beat it."""

"A handsome man walks into a bar and an ugly woman approaches him... all our servers are busy right now please try again in a minute (error code: 503)"

"A fair deal A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"Why is Donald Trump still running for president? It's the only race that he hasn't offended yet."