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Joke of the Day
"""john could tell that emily was getting tired of him narrating their date"""
Next Joke
"A professor and a thespian walk into a Martin Chalifour concert... 69696969696969696969 lololololololololol"
"Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans"
"Every single person on a reality TV series is the kind of person you don't want to sit next to in a restaurant."
"What do you call s'mores in Spanish? S'mas"
"My wife refused to do anal. She said she had a Boo-T-I."
"Q: How do Chinese people name their babies? A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make."
"""DO NOT HIT ME. THE TURTLES DO NOT HIT SPLINTER. I AM SPLINTER TO YOU."" -real thing I just said to my son"
"I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed."
"[during sex] HER: this isn't working out ME: *putting sock puppet away* was it something he said?"