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Joke of the Day

"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......"

"How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch? Infuse the gravy with cocaine."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic who sold his soul to Santa?"

"he literally just said, ""everyone's saying i won the debate."" is it possible...hear me out...trump has an imaginary friend named Everyone?"

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly-button? Because she had a blond boyfriend."

"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."

"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"

"what did the hat say to the other hat? ""you go on ahead."" I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!"

"Last night I tried a new Thai restaurant. It was nice... They had a pick your own kitten cage on the counter."

"Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic? Because he enjoys living in denial."