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Joke of the Day

"Last night I tried a new Thai restaurant. It was nice... They had a pick your own kitten cage on the counter."

"Why's it so hard for blind people to commit crimes? Because they can't see."

"They say you are what you eat.. But I don't remember eating a PATHETIC FAILURE."

"My doctor said diarrhea is hereditary. I guess it runs in your genes"

"Whenever someone makes a premature blanket conclusion based on a single piece of information... I automatically assume they're a complete idiot."

"A 9 year old patient in the hospital i work at had to have his leg amputated. He asked the doctor ""will my leg ever grow back?"" The Doctor replied ""sorry Johnny, you only limb once"""

"A naked woman robbed a bank today... When authorities asked about the culprit no one could remember her face"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Delaware? Don't worry, he eventually woke up."

"I like my hookers like I like my treasure... Buried."

"Why couldn't the melons secretly get married? Because they were cant elopes"