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Joke of the Day

"I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer. Credit to Steven Wright."

"You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky."

"What'd the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!"

"What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle? Weeeeeeeeee"

"Have you ever tried eating your watch? It's time consuming"

"What do you call paddling down a river of skim milk? white water rafting."

"I bet Adam and Eve loved being the first people cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts"

"8 friends share a pizza. Why did one friend not get any? He didn't get his fair share: one over eight."

"At some point Princess Peach needs to look in the mirror and ask herself what she can do to prevent getting abducted so frequently"