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Joke of the Day

"Why do cows have hoofs? Because they lack toes"

"What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop? Your tires are low."

"Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit? About two hours."

"I can relate to people who say they need to rest so they can recover after a tough workout. I feel exactly the same after a heavy meal."

"If you wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt you can walk into any RadioShack and start working."

"I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me."

"A wise man once said... absolutely nothing. He let her vent and then they had sex afterward."

"Q: What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in."

"Want to know why? Or do you want to know z?"

"Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?"