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Joke of the Day

"I love the F5 key... It's very refreshing."

"A feminist asked me how I view lesbians In HD was apparently not the correct answer."

"Tuesday, aka Monday 2.0"

"Me: You a good personal trainer? Him: You bet your emotionally distant dad I am. Me: [through tears] Wow, that's personal. You're hired."

"if you've ever wondered what it'd be like to be married ... Find a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you, and buy her a house."

"Did you hear about the discount rabbi for circumcisions? He'll take up to 10% off."

"I once thought I had a Japanese friend.... But it was just my imagine Asian."

"Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas? They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe."

"What's the difference between people who voted for Trump, and those that didn't? On average, about $30,000 in student debt."

"Why doesn't George R. R. Martin use Twitter? He killed all 140 characters."