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Joke of the Day

"Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy."

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?"

"A local census says that on average, 1 in every 4 guys is gay I hope it's Dave- i think he's kinda cute"

"My dog used to chase people on a bike It got so bad I had to take away his bike.."

"I have a ""One dollar, one inch"" rule with the ladies: you give me a dollar, you get an inch. You give me three dollars, you get it all."

"just ate about 3 pounds of eggplant parm. time to fuck."

"Christmas is canceled this year. Hoe HOoo HOe Hooo Hoooo were his last words as Kanye gunned him down for disrespecting his woman."

"How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem!"

"What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ? A long necked toothbrush !"