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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!"

"Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course no one pays the least bit of attention."

"When you're checking for murderers in your house, don't just yell out ""hello!"" that gives them the upper hand. Yell, ""YOU AINT SHIT!"""

"Can't sleep knowing there's a Toblerone in the mini bar."

"It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...."

"Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away? 1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children."

"French and Wars Why did the French have so many civil wars? So they could win one."

"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"In response to the ""How do you starve a black person"" joke. I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist son-of-a-bitch!"