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Joke of the Day
"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."
Next Joke
"Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto"
"GOD: no work on the sabbath or I'll kill you ISRAEL [hasn't had a day off in 400 years]: awesome! GOD: what ISRAEL: we mean...oh no so hard"
"My wife tried imitating the weird groaning sound her car is making, and all three auto mechanics asked her out."
"Boobies Teehehehhe"
"Me: *gazes into his eyes* Him: *sweats* M *winks* H: I'm kinda uncomfortable M: But this is love H: It's my job to fill liquor orders, ma'am"
"The sincerest form of flattery is having a robot from the future sent back in time to kill you. Imitation is a distant second."
"My home was invaded by gay burglars the other night... ...They came in and rearranged the furniture."
"Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know"
"Hey, say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they slow down in school zones."