37213

Joke of the Day

"Next time someone asks me a question I'm going to pull a Google & tell them my response time: ""I'd like the salad. (2.5 seconds!)"""

"My questionnaire for dogs: 1. Do you like to get pet 2. Who is a good boy 3. Is it you"

"What's the Primary Directive in a nunnery (convent) ? Lights out at nine, candles out at ten ..."

"Behemoth? No. Hebebutterfly."

"Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots... because they take arguments and return values."

"Take a chill pill? I had a friend overdose on chill pills you insensitive prick!"

"Ya gotta give Hitler credit for one thing... He killed Hitler."

"What do a hockey player and a hippie chick have in common? They both shower after 3 periods."

"Everyone on reddit seems to want a secular Turkey... My fat ass just wants a succulent one."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb ? Not three, my basement is still dark."