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Joke of the Day

"People who say ""you can run but you can't hide"" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run."

"Friend: I set a new personal record last week Me: Me too Friend: I took 2 minutes off my marathon time Me: I ate 12 tacos in one sitting."

"Sometimes you'll hate a person when you first meet because it saves time."

"bees What kind of scary bees can produce milk? - boo bees"

"I was going to make a dick joke, but it's harder than I thought."

"What is the ONLY good trait of pedophiles? They always stick to the speed limit in front of schools."

"I'm here for whatever you need me to do from the couch."

"What is black and white and red all over, and spins in circles? A nun who has a spear in her, going through a vevolving door."

"Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10"

"Cannibal kid... ...is walking home, chanting: ""I'm hungry, hungry, hungry!"" Half an hour later, he leaves the house, chanting: ""I'm an orphan, an orphan, an orphan!"""