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Joke of the Day

"""Turning on the dishwasher..."" Is what I call foreplay with my wife."

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"How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook? With his EyePhone"
"Don't feel sad...don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too..."
"First comes the engagement ring... then the wedding ring... and then finally suffering.."
"I must remember...no matter how well hidden I might be in my cardoard box fort, my boss can still track me down by the giggling."
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"""I can't find my gun"" I exclaimed as I rifled through my drawers."
"[At dentist] Dentist: Any plans for the weekend? Nnooiddtrrreeeskllyggfff Dentist: I'm not doing anything either."
"Interviewer:Do you have time for a question? A: Yes...but...do...you...have...time...for...my...answer?"
"For the last time... I'm not depressed. This is just how I eat."