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Joke of the Day

"Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend"

"5 out of 6 people would recommend it... 5 out of 6 people who played Russian roulette, would recommend it to others."

"I would like to be an ice cream man It would be a cool job"

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the little boy? Wanna take a shower? They're to die for."

"I'm old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy."

"Two ladies meet up for coffee... The first lady asks if she came on the bus. The other replies, ""Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack."" (I work in a hospital, a patient told me this.)"

"According to an old Irish saying... Summer is the best day of the year"

"Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous, but... when I tap on the window late at night dressed as a clown, they scream and call the cops."

"(Outside at dusk) Wife: Lovely evening. Me (Covered in mosquitos): Glorious."

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."