36950

Joke of the Day

"I tell my child, ""10 minutes till bed!"" She hears me say, ""Go put on a Halloween costume."" Why?"

"Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread."

"I like my women like I like my cars ...All black and twenty eight hundred pounds!"

"I'm like a reverse MacGyver. I can take a perfectly working item, step on it drunk, then turn it into dozens of unusable, meaningless parts."

"An elf walks into a bar. (LOTR) The hobbit laughed and walked under it."

"What's the difference between Bigfoot and Donald Trump ? One is big loud and smelly the other is a mythological creature ?"

"What's brown, squishy, and something a weak minded baby would eat weed brownies."

"Where do you get frog's eggs? The spawn shop."

"What has a 10 foot neck four legs and loves money. A Jewraffe"

"For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up."