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Joke of the Day

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away If you have aim, an apple a week may also work."

"If you ever get a job at a bank, take care not to slice your hand open while handling notes and coins. If that happens, you'll be sure to get a pay cut."

"Where do poor Italians live? In the spaghetto..."

"When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station"

"""I feel like the fat kid in gym class on dodgeball day"" - The End Piece of Bread"

"What did the Reddit using CVS cashier say about the man buying condoms after he left... ...this guy fucks."

"Have you heard about the type of hay made from oak leaves? Apparently it's OK"

"every good........ (offensive) every good rape story starts with a no..."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard"

"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."