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Joke of the Day

"every good........ (offensive) every good rape story starts with a no..."

"A very large woman was walking her dog... and as she walked by I said ""nice pig,"" she looked at me with a puzzled face and said ""that's no pig, it's my dog."" I replied with ""I was talking to the dog."""

"Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though."

"My ex was just diagnosed as a narcissist Good to see I'm not the only one with low standards."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't like humour."

"My mum says I need to get rid of my blow up sex doll. I don't want to let her down."

"If the Powerball has taught me anything, it's how to turn $200 into $4."

"My sausage-addicted friend died in a car crash. Apparently, he took a turn for the wurst."

"I built a lighthouse... but it blew away."

"I'd like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I'll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don't (you know why)"