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Joke of the Day

"When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station"

"What do you call a pile of blessed black waist sashes? A Benedictine Cumberbatch."

"What is a Word documents least favorite blood type? Type-O"

"Hula hoopers never seem to get anywhere... They're just going around in circles."

"I used to own a shop which sold 'Closed' signs... It didn't do very well. I had them all up in the window, but no-one ever came in."

"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""9/11"" ""9/11 who?"" ""you said you'd never forget"" =("

"Can a hamburger marry a hot dog? Only if they have a very frank relationship!"

"[end of the night]*hand running through her hair, pulls out a lizard* ME: no not again *she unzips jacket, collapses into a pile of lizards*"

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? .... 'Cause they're ugly and they stink."

"Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for ""located"""